Deep breaths, folks, we're going to get through this one blank message at a time.
Initiating a conversation is never without its woes, and Plenty of Fish totally gets it.
An attraction technologist at heart, he travels the world in search of beautiful women, new ways to help men with their online dating, and the perfect single malt whiskey.
Now, you can take comfort in the fact that there is an online dating study that shows what exactly you need to say in order to get a reply.
You only get a few pieces of information to work with.
Namely, her appearance, her tonality, choice of words, etc.
The reality is that even if you do everything right on your first messages, you still need to invest a massive number of hours to win dates with the more attractive women on the dating sites.
Because they have so many thirsty suitors messaging them regularly, your execution needs to be flawless, just to get your foot in the door with them.
Matthew Valentines is an online dating concierge, and executive director at Personal Dating Assistants.
ie; This statement is effective because it signals attraction (“nice blue eyes”), then changes the subject immediately to validate her interests (“shopping”), while introducing a flirty roleplay angle (“cute shopping assistant…”).
The use of an ellipsis at the end transforms the line from a statement, to an invitation. Alternatively, you can throw in a cold read, and invite her to validate, ie; “you don’t seem like you’re from the US…”.
What did you think of (XYZTHING) when you were in (XYZCITY)? The first message for online dating is just the tip of the iceberg.
” For girls with a more vanilla profile, what you say in a first message is going to be limited to physical statements & questions. You still need effective follow up, impeccable timing, and a strong pitch before you get her live & in person.